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Following the Rules

Why People Aren’t Texting You Back

You’re texting somebody important, maybe it’s your girlfriend, a friend or business associate. They are engaged and answering quickly when, like magic, they stop responding.

Being ignored

Here are some reasons people might be ignoring you:

1) The Answer Is No

Especially over text messages, people like to avoid confrontation, and so we tend to delay when the answer is no. You could fix this by framing your questions differently. Instead of “are you going to the party later?” which could get an easy “no,” instead say: “this party is so fun.”

The message implies you are already at the party and that you don’t need their validation to live.

Student texting during class

All you friends are off having fun without you, nobody's gonna apologize for it either. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

2) They Don’t Want To Have A Long Conversation

If somebody is texting while browsing the Internet, out and about, or lying in bed, they’ll ignore you if they don’t want to have a phone length conversation. In this case, asking open-ended questions will make it worse. The solution is to make sure your texts can be answered in less than five words, and reserve longer conversations for the phone or in person.

3) They Are Busy

The person you’re texting might just be doing something else. You’ve probably done it: you’re napping or out at dinner and you get a text, glance at it, say you’ll reply later and forget.

People will also ignore you if your text is too long and not well written. To fix this, make sure to read your texts before you send them, and make sure they can be interpreted without the reader assuming what you are thinking.

How to cope with being ignored:

People don’t all work on the same timeline, and one hour for you might be somebody else’s day. The best way to cope with waiting is to have multiple targets. When you talk to several people at once, it distracts you from obsessing over a single response.

Why else might people ignore your texts?

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